Gonna have to get better at s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g stuff, not for Words With Friends, but for O-l-i-v-e-r. I have a feeling we’ll be eating lots of ice cram and cokies while waiting to go outsite to play. (I’m not the strongest speller).
Reblogging myself won’t counteract the coffee, but I almost forgot about Tumblr.
My new revision of my old short story. Here is the first paragraph. Click the title to go to the post with the whole story.
The black felt sack was yanked from his head. His scalp burned where his hair was ripped out. Lingering pain tormented his battered knees and shins. Carl had felt every bump in the road through the cold, gritty floor of the empty cargo van. He had lain in the dark of his hood with only boxers and an undershirt for warmth. The course rope cut into his wrists and knees. His weary muscles found little respite now in the heavy steel chair. Carl squinted into the bright sunlight and tried to see the men standing around him. The light only made his head ache more and amplified his fatigue. Fear for one’s life was exhausting.
I woke up this morning to an AP alert on my iPhone (because I can afford it) that read “Department of Justice joining lawsuit against Lance Armstrong.”
I had to go ahead and Google Lance Armstrong to make sure I had the right guy, because the Lance Armstrong I know…
Too true.
One of the best comedic minds alive doing something incredible.
This is why comedy is important.
“Tragedy + time = comedy. But I don’t have the benefit of time. So I’m just going to tell you the tragedy and know that everything is going to be okay.”
So began Tig Notaro’s set last night at her show “Tig and friends” at the Largo.
Actually, that wasn’t the beginning of her set. It began when Ed Helms welcomed her to the stage and she crossed over, took the microphone, and said “Thank you, thank you, I have cancer, thank you, I have cancer, really, thank you.”
Applause gave way to reticent laughter as she explained how she had planned a set about bees flying alongside her car on the 405, but that she couldn’t possibly do her “silly jokes” when all this was going on. And that’s when she told us that 3 days ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in both breasts.
But she didn’t just have cancer. She went on to explain that in some manic twist of fate, while her career is at an all-time high — she is moving to New York to work on Amy Schumer’s new television show, she was on This American Life — concurrently, all these terrible circumstances have befallen her over the past 3 months: pneumonia made way for a debilitating bacterial infection in her digestive tract for which she was hospitalized and lost 30 pounds off of her already small frame, days after being released from the hospital, her young mother died suddenly and tragically (fell, hit her head, died), then she and her girlfriend broke up, and then, now, cancer. In both breasts. (“You have a lump.” “No, doctor, that’s my breast.” — one of her most renowned bits is about someone remarking upon her small breasts)
For the first half of her set, even though she was telling the story in perfect grace and humor, I couldn’t laugh. For the second half, for the first time in my life, as far as I can recall, I genuinely laughed and cried at the exact same time, bewildered at the tragedy and the remarkably calm, clever prism through which she assessed her terrible set of circumstances.
While telling us anecdotes from these personal tragedies, all along the way, she assured the audience “it’s okay, I’m going to be okay.” At one part, when she reached a dark place wherein most of the audience could not find the will to laugh, she said “maybe I’ll just go back to telling jokes about bees. Should I do that?” there were several “NOs” and one insistent loud male voice who cried out
“NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE.”
She looked genuinely taken aback, and relieved. She’d managed to make the tragic not only palatable but overwhelmingly engaging. She’d done it.
Tig’s been one of my favorite comedians for a couple of years now. I told her how much I loved her work after a set at UCB one night, and she received my words so kindly that she came towards me and gave me a hug. I’ve gone downtown to bars by myself and sat for hours alone, just waiting to see her headlining set.
At the end of her routine last night, everyone in the audience gave her a standing ovation, for me her wowed, grateful, happy face blurry with my own salty eyes. She’d released her horrific story into the hearts of her fans. I’m sure we all felt like I did; we were made witness to a truly historical moment in comedy, by one of the industry of comedy’s absolute greatest.
Bill Burr followed her set, inexplicably able to make the whole audience uproarious with laughter by the end. Bill Burr then brought on Louis C.K., the surprise guest of the night, which was a shock - it was my first time ever seeing him live - but it was very difficult to give him my enrapt attention after Tig’s on-stage confessions.
My head is still swimming around what happened last night. We all saw the ultimate embodiment of what comedy is supposed to do: deeply personal tragedies somehow transformed, with the enormous, necessary power of an open-hearted audience, into brilliantly-written truths that we’ll all take home with us and keep with us as long as we’ll have a sound-enough mind to remember that show. If schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortune of others, we all shuffled into another corner last night, schadenfreude’s cousin; we’re not laughing at you, we’re crying with you but trying very hard to accept this avalanche of misfortune through the more edible prism of humor.
I’m so grateful I could bear witness to what happened last night, and more than that I’m grateful to comedy and to Tig Notaro for being not only courageous enough and not only spirited enough but for being so endlessly, achingly HONEST with all of us, the stunned, mouth-breathing strangers in the dark.
I was feeling the drought on a different level last night. Actually got it down today mostly intact, too. Feels good to write publicly again.
Welcome to Toddler Burlesque where we remove one article of clothing and proceed to run around and laugh like jackals. Then repeat after every piece of clothing down to our skin when it all turns into a lewd game of tag or catch me if you can.
Come on down! Hurry, before we pee on something valuable or hilarious!
Forgot about this.